Goodbye Kauai

On our last full day in Kauai we decided to have a slow day. Kelsey started with yoga on the beach (which was really more glorified stretching for an hour) and Jake went for a run to the Spouting Horn, which is a landmark about two miles away from our hotel. We stopped in at our new favorite breakfast place, called The Little Fish, for coffee and açaí bowls and then headed down to the beach. Kelsey noticed a note on the sign in front of the beach warning about jellyfish being in the area, so she decided not to spend much time in the water, and instead read a book on the beach for the most part. She didn’t mention this warning to Jake, who spent a lot of his time in the water, which seemed to be, luckily, jellyfish free.

When happy hour was nearing we headed back up to the room to shower and change and then head to the ocean-front bar. A few cocktails later (Mai tai count: Kelsey-23, Jake-11), as we were paying, jake spotted a whale just off shore. We watched it move slowly from one side of our little beach to the other - it seemed like the water was too deep for it to dive, so it spent more time at the surface than we were used to. It had scarcely passed out of sight than more spouts were spotted - this time a whole pod was traveling past our beach! We’d never seen this many together - it must have been 5 or 6 whales in the group, though a little further from shore. The train continued, as another group followed this pod - 2-3 more humpbacks wandering into the shallow water of our beach. The final group had at least one playful whale however, as to our surprise, the whale breached repeatedly as it passed - 5, 6, 7 times leaping from the water and splashing down, enough for both of us to get videos and photos. Though whale watching in Maui had been fun and we’d seen a dozen whales, we saw more (and more active) whales from our bar as Kelsey finished her final Mai tai of the night. What an evening! All this as the sun was slowly setting and the clouds were turning pastel colored.

We had dinner at a spot we’d been looking at, and Jake accidentally ordered a silly drink served in a hollow pineapple, the first of the trip. Would it be the last? A cool thing about the restaurants is that they are very modern in their approach to allergies and dietary restrictions - most places have a gluten free designation on their menus, and several places have carried modern vegetarian patties for burger substitutions. It may be because Hawaii gets so many visitors from California and related areas that are pretty demanding in their food requirements.

Assorted memories from Kauai:

• The drive to our hike the other day had markers for each mile. So as we drove, we could see our progress as “mile 1”, “mile 2” etc. The trail also had markers every quarter mile so we spent the whole morning counting up (to mile 15 and mile 3) and then back down to 0.

• There have been a few places selling “dirt shirts” - shirts dyed red with Hawaiian dirt

• Volcanic rock is everywhere, black and almost looking like coral in the way it gets worn down by the water

• Weve heard the same Hawaiian songs like 1 billion times (favorites include Hawaiian roller coaster ride featured in lilo and stitch, a song that goes “I this land my father knew…”, and, surprise, “somewhere over the rainbow” by IZ).

• Chickens. Everywhere.

• Beach chairs with little flags you put up when you want to order a cocktail

Who What When Where Kauai

Kauai is the oldest of the islands, and dominated by huge geographic features - mountains and canyons jutting up into the western half of the island. It’s also greener than the other islands: known as the “garden isle” Kauai is mostly rainforest. We had rented a car for this island alone, in order to drive to Waimea canyon to take some of the most famous hikes in the world. The drive out of the airport was as advertised, winding and with frequent and dramatic changes in speed limit. We headed south, and passed down a well known scenic highway where both sides of the road were fenced by twisted trees. No one knows when they were planted or who had planted them, we later learned. Pulling out of the woods we reached the coast and headed to Poipu, a collection of shops and hotels on the islands southern coast.

As we checked in, a blonde girl at the next station was shaking down the smiling hotel clerk. “We were just in Waikiki, and the Hilton resort there gave us a ocean view. Just letting you know. I’m a travel blogger, so if you want to give me an upgrade, you know, I just thought I’d mention it.” Amazing. We checked in then walked around, taking in the new neighborhood. It’s smaller, hardly the town of Kona where there were dozens of shops and hotels. There are some beaches and several beachy shops offering surf lessons, more than would seem required by the unimpressive waves we’ve seen. We planned our morning: a drive into Waimea canyon, to a trailhead that seemed unanimously lauded.

Kelsey was a little bit nervous about this, given that the last time we had considered driving on our own was for the road to Hāna, which ended up being the most wind-y road either of us had ever seen. We googled the drive to Waimea and it looked to also be a bit turny, but with a low speed limit that made most people explain it as “not that bad.” We went to bed early and woke up at the crack of dawn to head out on our adventure.

‘The road was as advertised - mostly highways until you turned out of the town of Waimea and into the canyon, when the road started snaking up the side of the canyon. Jake was very helpful with directions and Kelsey refused to look to the side, for fear of plummeting the car off a cliff, but we made it to the trailhead unscathed, even though the last half mile of the road becomes a somewhat skinny path with blind turns.

The trail stretched into the forest. After a while, it became clear that we were descending. We could see the ocean ahead, but lookouts were scarce. When we did get a look beyond the trees, it was underwhelming. As the path wound on, it became clear that we were on a ridge, with growing valleys to either side. The ridge was narrowing. We had no idea what to expect, all we had heard was that the trail was highly regarded and around 3.2 miles long, an out and back trail, not a loop. The further we descended, the more confused we were. Expecting a summit of some sort, we instead seemed headed toward some kind of stream. Maybe a waterfall? It was hard to see why the trail had provoked such rave reviews. Then we broke from the tree line, passed through a field of tall grass, and looked out at the massive entrance to Waimea canyon.

Others soon spilled out of the trees and joined us on the lookout, but for 5 minutes it was just us and the massive walls of the canyon on either side, with an uninterrupted line of blue on the horizon. Helicopters wheeled into the expanse, and it became clear how massive the canyon was - the helicopters seemed as though they were running into the walls, but the walls never came, even as the helicopter grew smaller and smaller to our eyes. The path went on - out onto the ridge that narrowed further until it was wide enough for only one person at a time, with grassy canyon walls falling hundreds of feet on either side, held unconvincingly taut by the roots of the shrubs that managed to thrive at near 90 degree angles.

We had been very skeptical on the way out, but the entire (uphill) way back we crossed paths with other skeptical hikers and encouraged them to keep going and that it was worth the hike. We ended up back in the parking lot at about noon, sweaty and hungry from our morning on the trail. On the drive down the canyon we stopped at one more lookout that ended up being very worth the break, opening up to the entire cravass. We continued on, stopping for lunch in Waimea before heading back to our hotel for a well deserved evening in.

HaKona Matata

We spent our down time between surf lessons and manta rays at the hotel. Before long it was time to head to the bay to meet the boat. The ride to the bay wasn’t very long, about 15 minutes in total, but Kelsey spent that time mildly freaking out. We knew that manta rays don’t eat people and they don’t have teeth, but it was still scary to think about a 10 foot fish coming at you.

When we arrived at the bay, we realized that there are several companies that all leave from the same spot at the same time, so there was a bit of confusion at first while we tried to find our group. Once we found our spot, we got geared up with a wetsuit top (which Kelsey thought was kind of stupid, since they were short sleeved and they didn’t provide bottoms, so they really weren’t going to do much) and a mask/snorkel. We had to wait for a while until the previous group came back with the boat, but we were soon underway. It was helpful to see that there was a mom and her young son with us, because if they let him do it it couldn’t be that bad (right?).

Our guide’s name was Nathan, a blonde kid of about 20, who explained how the snorkel would work. He said that we drop a board, about 10 feet long and 3 feet wide, into the water with a railing along the outside for everyone to hold onto so we stay as a group. The board has lights underneath, which we turn on to draw the plankton that the manta rays eat to the surface, in turn drawing the manta rays. Nathan mentioned that it would be very important to lay on top of the water so that the manta rays would be comfortable coming up close. The water was colder than we expected, and at first nothing was happening other than everyone shivering and slowly bumping into each other. We started in relatively shallow water, so we could usually see all the way to the bottom. Eventually, we saw two big shapes emerging from the gloom, skirting the bottom of the ocean. We had found our goal! They passed below us a few times, and then all of a sudden, we saw one of them pull up and head straight for us, opening its mouth wide. Watching the manta rays feed is an absolutely amazing experience. They come up and right before they hit the board they do a barrel roll, pulling the plankton into their mouths, and avoiding hitting us on the outside of the board by inches every time.

The markings on the back of the rays is very distinctive. Nathan mentioned that the markings of each day make them distinguishable from the rest, and that one of them that was circling us was named “Amanda ray” and that she is one of the most playful of the rays that he sees on a regular basis. We’ve since been looking about for a manta tee shirt for Kelsey to commemorate the experience (side note, she complains that all the cool shirts are for boys and the girls’ shirts are all “sparkly and silly”), and a lot of the designs take a tribal-patterned approach with jagged, stylized animals. Interestingly, this is not far off from how they look from above - there is a very stark black and white pattern on their backs that looks like a piece of tattoo art or a drawing in a coloring book. On their bellies, which we saw as they flipped up under the board, they have a pattern of grey dots like a fingerprint. There are 270 rays that hang out along the Kona coast, and each has a name and can be recognized by the dot pattern (“a lot of punny names, to be honest,” per our guides). 2 rays swirled around us for a full 30 minutes, alternating and occasionally competing for the plankton that the blue light attracted. A third, smaller ray eventually joined before they moved on, silently disappearing into the dark water.

The next morning we joined a boat full of folks as part of a morning snorkel that advertised a “dolphin swim” that felt a little hyperbolic. Eating breakfast one morning, our waiter had paused at our table and pointed dismissively at a pack of a few dozen small boats lingering in the shallow harbor in front of our hotel. “Look at them all out there bothering the dolphins.” We looked. At this point, Kelsey had never actually seen a dolphin. We kept eating, unconvinced. If there were dolphins in the harbor, we couldn’t see them. The dolphin swim seemed a little far fetched, and the boats had seemed like a mob. So we’d taken the morning snorkel mostly for a ride to Kealekekua bay, where Jake had had a good time 8 years prior. Others on the boat were similarly pessimistic, so when we slowly passed the harbor, then moved on without a dolphin, we weren’t surprised. Then the boat stopped, further along the coast. No one else was there, but we’d found a pod of 6 spinner dolphins and put on our masks to get a closer look.

Our pessimism was totally unfounded. The dolphins were amazing, and extremely playful, coming up close and then skittering away, only to jump out of the water a minute later just a few feet away. We were prepared not to see any dolphins, so this was an unexpected treat that made the trip. The guides explained that the dolphins were technically sleeping, but as active breathers this meant they were just slowly circling. Two of the larger dolphins became more alert and swam closer to get a look at us. After a while they started to get playful, even jumping out of the water in spirals. The other 4 never veered from a lazy figure 8, protective of an adolescent tucked under a possible mother. They stayed their distance and swum deeper, only coming up rarely and never splitting their formation. Once the dolphins swam away, we got back on the boat to continue on to Kealekekua bay. On the way there, Jake spotted a humpback whale, which we tried to glimpse again, but were unfortunately unsuccessful.

Upon arriving at the bay, we saw about a dozen other boats and kayakers who also had the same idea. Jacob, our guide for the day, explained that this is one of the best preserved coral reefs in the world, because it is protected as a national park, meaning that we could not come ashore or touch anything, but we were welcome to swim around to our hearts content. He also mentioned that the idea for the drop off in Finding Nemo came from this area, since the coral is attached directly to the cliff that descends into the water, so you could be in an area that’s 3 feet deep, but a yard over it could be 30 feet deep. We were tired and a little cold from our earlier swim, but the reef as beautiful.

Jake swum past a colder area that sent Kelsey back to the boat, looking for larger fish or eels in the deeper water. Nothing. Upon swimming back to the boat, however, a shape came slowly swimming into the shallower water. At first it looked like the dolphins of the morning - around 6-8 feet long and slow, deliberate. It came into view. A white tip reef shark, Jacob explained later. It scanned the edge of the reef, then slowly turned back to sea. Jake lifted his face from the water and made eye contact with a mom cradling a kid in water wings. They looked eyes and made the “AAAH!” face in a silent scream. Another bucket list item. If it wasn’t for the time spent with the gentler dolphins, the sight would have been far more shocking, as it must have been for some swimmers, who had swam into shallower water in a panic. We had lunch on the boat and then headed back up the coast to the bay.

The rest of the day was uneventful, we shopped around a bit and bought t-shirts and a Christmas ornament, had drinks at the ocean-side bar - which was super windy - and went to dinner at Huggo’s, where we went on our first night in Kona. After that we headed back to pack and go to bed early to prepare for our next adventure - Kauai.

Journey to Kona

We’d taken a ride to whale watching with a woman and her husband who’d come from Alaska a year earlier. Her husband was recovering from a stroke, and they drove for Uber as a tag team - he opened doors and smiled while she drove. We liked her and asked if they’d take us to the airport to catch our flight to the big island (technically the island of Hawai’i). Our travel from island to island is semi-geographical, moving south from Honolulu and O’ahu, but also in order of descending population, and the airports are a testament - in Kona the airport is barely roofed, with large areas under only the sun. Kauai will be even smaller.

Were staying in a hotel just south of Kailua-Kona, a slightly touristy city with a long road that winds along the coast, where waves crash into jagged rocks - not quite the same vibe as beach Maui. After our 23 minute flight (!?) we checked in and had some downtime, listening to a local musician play in our hotel bar and getting dinner at a restaurant called Huggos just down the road with beautiful ocean views. As we drank (Mai tai count: Kelsey 11, Jake 5), a couple next to us we’re looking at vacation homes. “I like that one,” the older man said to Kelsey. 9 million dollars. (“No, only 8.8”). He even bought Kelsey a drink, saying that we seemed like a nice young couple. They were also from Alaska.

The next morning we started our day by heading into the town of Kona to get coffee (obviously…because it’s Kona) and to plan out some more of our trip. We wandered around town until we found a place that did reservations that were reasonably priced and seemed relatively popular and made some bookings. We knew we would want to go snorkeling, so that was our first selection, but we had also seen signs for night snorkeling with manta rays, which seemed simultaneously really scary and really fun, so we decided to go for it (eek!). We also decided to plan some surfing lessons, but booked that through another company, so we scheduled it for the next morning.

After our walk through town we headed back to the hotel where we spent a leisurely afternoon by the pool (the waves are too big and there are rocks by the shore, so they don’t have ocean access, but their pools are right by the ocean which makes it almost as good). We had booked a Luau for the evening and we didn’t want to exhaust ourselves before a busy night. Before we knew it, though, it was time for the luau.

We sat next to some people from Kansas City (“MISSOURI,” they said, “not Kansas”), an older couple and their daughter heading back to her last semester in law school in Chicago. They mentioned LA when Jake said he was from California, and nodded in understanding when they heard there was a bit of a NorCal-SoCal rivalry. “Remember when we said we weren’t from the Kansas side of Kansas City?” They unburied a pig, we all ate, and the host cracked the occasional joke, mostly at the expense of Poi, a bland tasting sauce made from fermented taro root that seems like it’s the Hawaiian vegemite. Kelsey was particularly not a fan of some sort of salmon-salsa, but the pig was the star of the show. The dancing started after dark, with much distinctive yelling. The dancers were a group of 4 women and 4 men, who put on a number of dances from around the island region, particularly Tahiti. The final act was a fire dance, fast and furiously performed by a single man who seemed to be immune to the heat, though he did light his pants on fire a teeny bit at the beginning…

The host had just announced a brief “couples dance” (there is a looooot of that kind of thing going on here in Hawaii), when confusion struck. A man near the front of the audience had collapsed and needed medical assistance. The hotel staff rushed over, and an ambulance arrived within minutes, as the host tried to direct traffic and ensure the man who needed help (a local who worked with a Hula company and may have been a part of the show) was taken care of. He seemed to recover as he was gurney’d to the waiting ambulance, and a final slightly downbeat dance was performed as hotel staff began to pour ice from the now-empty trays of food. A scary moment and a strange dichotomy with the sounds of ukulele and the dancers.

As we mentioned above, we had planned surf lessons for the next morning, so we woke up bright and early and headed a few miles south to where we would meet the van. We were in a group with three other people who had traveled from Sweden, and were extremely nice (as everyone seems to be here). We were both nervous and not sure what to expect when it came to surfing, especially because the area where we ended up had a TON of people doing surf lessons to the point that there was a real fear that we would run into other people, but our fears ended up being more or less unfounded. Our surf instructors were good at keeping an eye out for the other groups and getting us in our own spaces. As far as surfing itself, IT. WAS. SO. FUN. Of course the girl from Sweden got up on her first try, but we started to catch on as the morning progressed and both ended up being able to catch a wave and stand up without assistance by the end of the two hour lesson. Well worth the price of admission.

The Final Maui

2 last days in Maui to record before we head to Kona and the big island to continue our travels.

Day 1

The best time to snorkel is the morning, as the water is calm. A helpful note in our condo specified that the wind picked up around 1 each day, which strikes us as crazy - such a regular thing that it can be recorded and explained so simply? …But yeah, the wind picks up almost exactly at one every day, and since it’s warm enough to swim by 9, we did a little early swimming. Jake saw a turtle while snorkeling, and Kelsey mastered boogie boarding, though the waves are small enough that she couldn’t do it without getting very sandy. The sea turtles, we would learn, swim around many areas and even come up to the beach to sleep at night on occasion. They are protected - touching a turtle nets you a hefty 10K fine - but they get very close and are not afraid of humans.

After a morning at the beach we headed over to Lahaina with a very nice Uber driver named Patricia, who gave us her phone number in order to set up a ride to the airport later on. We were heading, not for the shops and promenade of Lahaina proper, but for the bay just preceding it, for a whale watching trip. Kelsey spotted a bar to wait at until the boat left, but Jake thought it would be irresponsible to drink before getting on a boat full of children…which turned out to be moot when we got to the boat and realized there was a full bar on board. Kelsey’s Mai Tai count: 6, Jake’s count: 4.

The whale watching trip was AMAZING. As we were first leaving the bay we saw two whales in the distance fully breaching out of the water. We had two hours full of literal gasps and pointing into the distance to chase down the coolest views. The girl on the microphone says you have to give them a berth of at least 100 yards, and that they usually try to make it more like 200. She said that sometimes the whales come up close to the boat and they have to stop and turn off the engines until the whales leave, which they call a “whale mugging.” Unfortunately we didn’t get mugged by any whales, but we did see a few whales pick their heads up out of the water and got some really great pictures. All in all, great success.

Interesting to hear from our guide how much we don’t actually know about whales and their behavior. They’re so big and fast, it’s nearly impossible to study them in a controlled setting. So a lot of the behavior we saw is not well understood - something may be aggressive, but not necessarily competitive, perhaps just playful. One detail that was interesting is that the humpbacks all sing the same song, which slight differences in pitch. However, this song evolves slowly over time, so the song that all the whales were singing 10 years ago would be completely different to the song they sing today. Once, scientists thought the song was for males to find a mate, but they sing it when they’re alone or with other males. Now the theory is that it’s conversational.

Day 2

We decided to take the road to Hāna today. It’s a legendarily twisty road that wraps around the less populous region of Maui. Total time on the road: 10 hours. Nicknamed the “Divorce Highway”, we traveled with a tour group lead by a guy named Scott who reminded Kelsey a little of Uncle Possum. We were on the trip with a very interesting mix of people - an older couple from Western Canada, a couple from rural Tennessee, a family of four from Maryland, and…a couple from south Brooklyn. One of whom…went to Skidmore. Small world! The tour took 3 main parts: the especially twisty northern section leading to Hāna, the area on the far eastern part of the island, and the bumpy, ill paved section of road leading back to Kihei.

We really didn’t know what to expect from the trip, but it was better than anything we would have thought. The guide talked through everything we drove by, explaining the plant life - like Noni, that he says cures a whole slew of ailments and is used in progressive cancer treatments - and the landmarks along the way. Scott said the road has 617 curves BEFORE you get to Hāna, and the back side of the rainforest was an even more treacherous drive. There was an area on the map that said “very rough road” that Scott dubbed “the Maui massage chair.” In total he estimated the road had a little over 1,800 curves.

The stops on the way were all beautiful. We went to a little roadside market with handmade trinkets and food, where Jake bought a pineapple banana bread. We saw about a dozen waterfalls, stopped at a black sand beach that was breathtaking, and had lunch at a flower farm. After lunch, we had a few more stops, including the seven sacred pools of Ohe’o, which were unfortunately closed due to the government shutdown, otherwise we would have had the opportunity to swim. After navigating a few more terrifying cliff faces by van, we ended up on the other side of Haleakalā, which is the name of the volcano around which the Hāna highway stretches.

On this side of the island, wild goats roam around eating the dead grass. There used to be rainforest here, but when the sandalwood trees were cut in the 18th century during the reign of Kamehameha, the forrests and The land dried up, a victim of the rapid change in ecology. Now there is very little rain, and the bus ran through giant rivets that used to be large rivers. “If you come back in 200 years, this will be rainforest again” - Scott explained that the island was undertaking a three stage program of reincorporation that will take generations of work to be successful. Scary to contemplate how long it can take to turn things back once they get bad. We made it back and enjoyed a quiet evening, our last on Maui.

More Maui

To this point, we had only made it until 8:30PM before passing out. But we wanted to stay awake until the fireworks at midnight (a full 5 hours from the midnight in NYC) so much of the day was spent preparing to stay up, and discussing resolutions and plans for the year. The day began at the beach where we searched for sea turtles with the snorkel gear helpfully provided by the condo people. No luck. Lots of colorful fish though, and the promise of future turtles. We sat down on the beach at 8AM and Jake saw a note saying “happy new year from sydney Australia” that was already 3 hours old. Weird! We still had 16 to go.

The morning was spent between lounging on the beach and snorkeling in the water. We hadn’t brought our phones so we couldn’t tell what time it was when we decided to go back to the condo…it was only noon. In the interest of preparing for the long slog to midnight we took some post-beach naps and relaxed for a little while. When we were prepared to move again Jake suggested taking a long walk into Wailea (about a 40 minute walk away). We packed up the backpack with Kelsey’s camera and some sketching gear and set out.

South of we are staying is Wailea: land of a thousand resorts. Walking south reminded us of our experience in New York, moving into a beautiful neighborhood and feeling like we were on top of the world until we walked to the next neighborhood up and realized there’s always a nicer neighborhood. Not really better - resort world is full of pricey nonsense and designer bag stores - just ritzier. We got some drinks at a bar and Jake excited a dude with his Keystone t-shirt (“did you get any boarding in?”) and he lost interest in us immediately after hearing we were actually from New York. Jake postulates a “bro theory” that joins Colorado, California, and Hawai’i in a casual nexus of chillness. Worth exploring. At the bar, Kelsey ordered a Mai Tai (bringing her Mai Tai count up to 6; Jake has some catching up to do, at only 4 for the trip so far).

Every place we have gone in Hawaii so far has had super nice servers/drivers etc. It is an interesting transition from New York, where we do think that people get a bad rap for being “mean,” but are definitely not as openly friendly as they are here. We took an Uber back from Wailea after finishing at the bar and the driver mentioned that it was not “the off season” as Jake seemed to think, but actually their most busy week of the year (which makes a lot more sense in hindsight). (Jake note: we had noticed that nothing seemed to be shutting down for the holiday, and our driver explained that in Hawaii, they call the time from Christmas into New Years “Festive”, and very few people on the island take time off as its the busy season. Instead, they work through the holidays to catch up and get ahead, then take time to travel and be with family once things slow down in February. Interesting work culture - everyone here is a customer service pro, it’s almost uncanny.)

When we got back to the condo it was still only 7:30 - past midnight in New York time, but well off our goal of midnight in Hawaii. We cooked dinner rather than worrying about the overpriced, prix fix menus. That brought us to about…8. At this point we were both fading so we figured turning on the ball drop would help us stay awake…but we realized that the ball had dropped over an hour ago at this point, so we were forced to settle for a weird, C-list Vegas countdown show. Womp womp. Thank god for the second best Ryan Reynolds movie, definitely maybe.

For Jake, 2018 was about making habits and being an adult - trying to dress better for work, upgrading parts of life to what is needed in work and life in New York. The theme of 2019 is: finishing what’s started. Biggest goal is to finally get a drivers license, but there are many:

>run another longer race with more training

>read more books, especially books that are recommended/gifted

>take classes on one of many hobbies and interests: coding, Italian/Spanish/German, baking

>cook and bake more

>visit friends and take more small trips to hang with family

For Kelsey, the theme is similar. She wants to be the kind of person that stops saying ‘we should do…’ and just plan it. Nothing comes out of all talk and no planning. Along with this, some things on her list are:

>finish the spartan sprint in under an hour

>find a job that is fulfilling and also allows for some time to focus on personal work

>put together a system to save more money in the long run

>make health and fitness more of a priority, like it was a few years ago

We discussed these things and more while waiting for the stroke of midnight. The original plan was to sneak down onto the beach to watch the fireworks, which was thwarted when we found the front door of the condominium locked, and our key didn’t work to get it open again, so we were forced to find a vantage point from the railing in the hallway on our floor (which ended up working out just fine).

Sunset from the beach in Wailea.

Intro to Maui

We arrived in Maui extremely early yesterday, as we took a 7am flight out of Honolulu, not thinking that we would then have a whole day of carting around our things until we could get into our hotel…oops. When we were leaving the airport we realized it was a 25 minute drive and thought it might make sense to rent a car. Until we realized that a car for the 5 days we are here would run us about a thousand dollars, at which point we settled for the taxi.

Our hotel is in an area of the island called Kihei. Upon arriving in the area we realized we had picked a good spot. The beaches are big and right across the street from where we are staying and the surrounding area is full of adorable shops. We found a restaurant for breakfast/lunch that Kelsey thought Lindsay might enjoy, but maybe mostly for the name - Moose McGillycuddy’s. We arrived during football Sunday, which people apparently still take very seriously, even though the state doesn’t have a team. There were a ton of screaming Seahawks fans, which made our meal interesting, as the Seahawks game was the only one we couldn’t see. But it wasn’t hard to discern what was happening based on the reactions of the crown and the lady in the corner constantly starting the chant “SEA” - “HAWKS,” “SEA” - “HAWKS.”

The condo is awesome. Kelsey and Jake both get separate bathrooms, which is a revelation. We’re in a small stretch of about two miles where everything is set up for the people living and staying in 4 or 5 different little villas and hotels. A handful of restaurants, like 12 snorkel rental stores, and some general needs spots. Kids are everywhere. The median family unit seems to be around 2 grandparents, 4 parents, 6 kids. There are two beached separated by some rocks, and these beaches are clearly the place to be during the day. The waves are pretty mild and the ocean temperature feels only a few degrees off from the air temperature.

While sitting on the beach, we came up with 2 movies - the first is a romantic comedy version of Groundhog Day where a man, played by Oscar Isaacs for some reason (Kelsey says he was a “goofy sidekick” character before he made it big?), is forced to relive his wedding day over and over until he realizes he’s marrying the wrong girl and discovers that the girl for him has been under his nose the whole time. This film will be set in Hawaii and it is called “Maui’d“. The sequel, “Maui’d 2” will star Rashida Jones as she returns to Maui years after she is rejected by Oscar and searches for her own happy ending (with a dude) with the help of her best friend. Finally, under New Years fireworks, when the plan has failed, Rashida realizes that she has found love: the platonic sisterly love of her friend. Just like Frozen. But then her surf instructor comes over and also asks her out so the movie kind of has its cake and eats it (also like Frozen). Basically Hawaiian Frozen.

Honolulu

What is the best way to spend a 12 hour flight?

We went in with a half dozen devices and a single mission: survive without getting impatient or short. In the end, we only relied on the in flight entertainment - Kelsey watched all three Avengers movies back to back (perfectly balanced, as all flights should be), Jake watched a bunch of other stuff that had come out in the past year. The cabin was dark and they had a pair of separated seats to themselves, thank God. Jake rates the flight experience a 7/10 because Kelsey had to give him her pizza flatbread and cookies (pro) but Annhilation wasn’t as good as Barrack Obama said it was. Kelsey would probably rate it more like a 6. Flight entertainment: good. Having to eat the turkey out of a sandwich because there weren’t any gluten free options: not as good.

Our first real realization upon arriving was that Hawai’i is unlike any of our previous vacation destinations. Usually we venture toward cities in countries previously unexplored by us, which still provides for a similar speed to our day-to-day lives. Hawai’i, however is not like that. Last night, when looking for a dinner destination, we realized that only two of the more than a dozen restaurants nearby were open. On a Saturday night. And the places that were open all closed around 9, which is unfathomable coming from a place like New York. When we landed at the airport in Maui this morning we were surprised to realize that there were a total of 3 Uber cars active on the island at the time and that Lyft hasn’t made its way to the island yet at all.

…we just had a conversation about whether it was the way that last paragraph was written that sounded bougey and entitled, or whether we’re just actually bougey and entitled.

The best and worst thing about our hotel was that it was so close to the airport it was practically a terminal. This made the morning flight easy, but also gave the strange impression that the airport surrounded us, with warehouses and unwalkable streets stretching out in every direction. The driver of a car we got who kept laughing at the fact we waited 10 minutes for a 5 minute ride explained: really, we should be in Waikiki if we want to do touristy things. Point taken. The hotel also gave us 2 beautiful twin beds. Jake gives the hotel a 4 out of ten because it had a charming and redundent pool (pro?) but it had no internet (major con). Overall Jake gives O’ahu a Wayne Knight on the Jurassic Park meter, but a 10/10 on the nice Uber driver scale.